Monday, April 13, 2026

Lasspoint - A DC Comics TG Crossover - Chapter 5

Berni had settled into her new life in the weeks following her visit with her Father. The two had begun exchanging letters that came to be the thing she most looked forward to every week, not that it had much competition given that the rest of her daily routine involved being treated like a charity case by Iris, girls' days out, unsolicited womanly advice, and outfit shopping to fill the days before Thawne came home and turned up the affection with Iris and the "Daddy's little Princess" talk directed at Berni. Luckily for Berni, it was objectively cringe-worthy, so her reaction didn't give away that she remembered what Thawne had done to her. She'd taken up running in the morning and evening in an attempt to avoid seeing him in the mornings and evenings as well as to try and jumpstart her powers, she felt self-conscious going out in public in the tight workout pants and sports bra, but she didn't know if it would be too uncharacteristic to try and cover up, so she just let the world see her midriff. Iris had told her it was a bad idea to go out alone at night dressed like that, especially in a city without their own superhero. That was something about womanhood Berni hadn't thought about, always having to be on-guard, but perhaps the sense of danger was what she needed to get the powers to kick in at last.

She'd chosen Central City Park as a place to run as it had some heavy forest that cast shade around, covering up the body she was still insecure about showing off, and it was usually pretty empty outside of mid-day. On this particular night, Berni got there a little later than usual as the suburbs she lived in nestled next to the city had begun putting up decorations to celebrate Halloween, which was only a week away. Barry had never been into the spooky stuff, but it was always nice and quaint to see the decorations, the happy families coming together to complete a project, the excitement for the big night. She only remembered a few Halloweens as Barry before her family was broken apart. She took in and appreciated all of the decked-out houses on each street and waved to the families still outside, then watched the wives glare at the Husbands for staring at her outfit a little too intently before entering the forest in the pitch-black of night.

Berni could run the path with her eyes closed, which she was more-or-less doing since she was usually out of the woods before the sun was all the way down. She'd been used to running without being able to perceive her surroundings back when she was a superhero, sometimes The Flash reached speeds so high even her super-perception struggled to keep up with everything. She confidently planted her foot with each step, hearing the flat, maintained dirt of the pathway under her, knowing that the fallen leaves and overgrown wild surrounding would notify her of if she went off coarse. But what she wasn't expecting was the tall, burly man leaping from behind one of the tall, thick oak trees, wrapping his arms around her, and dragging her off of the path as she kicked and struggled. She went for a pressure point on his neck, thanks Batman, but he shoved her to the ground. So she stood and stomped on his foot, then delivered an uppercut, thanks Hal. Then she jumped on his back and put him in a headlock, leveraging his size to make him lean into it, thanks Diana. But he sprung back into one of the oak trees, dislodging her and knocking her to the ground, he turned and delivered a kick as the bright yellow beams of flashlights weaved through the trees.

"Help!" Berni pushed to shout despite the wind being knocked out of her.

"That ain't help" the guy said in a thick accent that sounded Russian. "Over here!" He yelled. "Get the van ready!" The flashlights began to converge on Berni and her attacker as 4 other equally scary men surrounded her as they pulled her up by the ponytail. She tried to keep up to avoid the pain of being dragged by her hair. As she slowly regained her composure, she looked to the man walking alongside her, holding up his flashlight so that her captor could see where he was going, Berni snatched the flashlight from his hand and hit the man carrying her in the shin as hard as she could, making him topple. She hit him in the head, knocking him unconscious as the remaining four men surrounded her, pulling knives from their holsters and closing in, then she felt it ---

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The lightning running through her, the men lunging forward, moving at what seemed like super slow-motion. Berni couldn't help but chuckle as she moved at speeds the attackers couldn't register, snatching the knives from their hands, except for the one closest to her, she stood up the first attacked that had pulled her by the hair and stood him in the way, the blade would only hit him in the shoulder, nothing drastic. She zipped through them, delivering blows to their bodies and heads enough to knock them unconscious before finding the zipties in one of their supply bags, tying their hands, dropping them in front of the Central City Police Station, she wrote a note describing what happened then contemplated for a moment before deciding it would be just too good resist, adding a signature to the bottom, "The Flash." She was confident that in the dark none of them would be able to identify her, and even if they could, the odds that these big bad traffickers would admit to a tiny jogger with bangs beating them senseless was very small.

Berni remembered the mention of the van and went for a quick wardrobe change. She didn't have access to the materials or STAR Labs' facilities to make something up to the standard she had before, but she shouldn't have to move too quickly for this, there was little risk of burning up a plain outfit. She snuck back into her room, found a red t-shirt, red track pants, some red tennis shoes, a ski mask, and some old ski goggles, enough to conceal her identity, and added a touch of spraypaint to announce her other identity. In the estimated 247 seconds it took her to drop them off, make it back home, and change, she was worried the van would have left, but she saw it there, still in the parking lot, she smirked, bursting forward toward the van, jumping through the passenger window using the shattering glass for dramatic effect. The driver, a scrawny, younger guy, panicked, fumbling toward the glovebox. without using her speed at all, she slapped his hand, pointed at him as if scolding a child. He placed his hands back on the wheel and pouted at her pleadingly.


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"Run." Berni said in her deepest voice, but it still sounded like a young woman mocking a bigger man. She left the van and stood in the parking lot, awaiting the van driver's escape. Then trailed him, using rooftops to keep an eye on him before he arrived back at their headquarters, an abandoned warehouse, and sprinting inside as if Michael Myers was after him. Berni missed the sight of a terrified criminal. She ran in, where the trafficker was being berated by his superiors. Berni surveyed the area before noticing a catwalk above them and decided to riff on an old war story one of her friends used to tell, she appeared on the catwalk, clearing her throat to draw their attention. As they looked up, she went back to her growly voice and crossed her arms.

"Gentlemen, you have eaten well." One of the men in suits below fired his gun at her, she caught the bullet and dropped it. It was thrilling and a relief that she was already fast enough to catch a bullet, that could have been bad. The men reacted by doing it again. Berni decided to stop quoting Batman and went back to her regular voice as she started to let the stopped bullets fall from her hands to the floor below. "Can anyone help me out, I'm trying to remember the definition of 'insanity?'"


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"Who is this!?" One screamed in his thick accent.

"I'm The Flash." Berni said, suddenly appearing behind the man before disappearing with him, dropping him zip tied in the lot, then flipping the breakers to turn off the lights. She returned to the men panicking and picked them off one-by-one. She called it into CCPD using one of their phones. She explored the warehouse they'd set up shop in and found several other women they'd grabbed off of the streets. Iris was right, this city was dangerous for women at night. But luckily for Central City, they had a superhero now. They all thanked her before filing out of the building as the police arrived. Berni took that as her cue to exit as she zipped back home and changed into her running gear, put her hair back up, then strode inside.

"You were out late." EO said, a knowing grin obvious.

"I was looking at decorations, lot of really cool stuff this year!"

"Maybe we could decorate then!" Iris said, in her pajamas standing on the staircase.

"You know what, how about we have family-themed costumes? I think Berni still has that Princess costume. I could be a valiant knight and you, my dear, can be the beautiful Queen." EO said as he stood up and approached Iris, sweeping her off of her feet.

"I can buy Berni being a pretty Princess and you being a valiant Knight, but you lost me at me being a beautiful queen." Iris chuckled, motioning her hands at her removed make-up, her casual pajamas.

"Nonsense. Berni, isn't Iris beautiful?" EO said. Iris lightly slapped him on the chest, a playful gesture telling her not to rope their Daughter into their flirtation.

"She's the most beautiful woman in the world. Don't know what you could have possibly done to deserve her." Berni said, attempting to play it off teasing, but worried she couldn't hide the contempt. EO glared, then chuckled.

"There's that bratty Princess attitude! I love it! This is going to be fun, huh!" EO shouted. Berni knew that his dorkiness was a mocking jab at the man Berni used to be. He opened his arms, to maintain cover, Berni smiled and walked forward to join the couple in a family hug before they returned to their individual bedrooms. Berni put in her earbuds, terrified of hearing any noise coming from the bedroom EO and Iris shared, and started to scroll local news sites on her phone, looking to see if anyone had begun to report on The Flash's debut yet.

Friday, April 10, 2026

Butt of the Joke


 

Also, my friend Jocelyn has recently started making her own caps! Her page is in the blog roll on the sidebar. Check her stuff out and show some love please! 

Friday, April 3, 2026

Becoming the Fake ID, pt. 14


 

I said before that this series would run for 14 captions. But I still have one more "arc" planned. I don't know if everyone's sick of Jules by this point, she's gonna take a little break for some original captions, have enough scheduled until the first week of May! And then we'll see what she gets up to at New Years! (The captions take place at New Years, they'll be up before then) 

Friday, March 27, 2026

Toxic Revelation + Model Poll?


 

Hey, everyone. I'll be away celebrating my birthday when this one goes up, then taking a breather after. I have captions scheduled for the next few Fridays and should be back after that. Before then, if anyone would like to suggest some models/actresses/online personalities you'd like to see in some captions, please let me know and I'll have a loom when I return! They can be someone new, someone I've captioned before, whatever! 

Monday, March 23, 2026

Lasspoint - A DC Comics TG crossover - Chapter 4

In Iris's car, Berni took the time to absorb the surroundings she was too weak to notice on the way there. As different as Berni's entire world seemed to be, it was a small comfort to see that Central City was for the most part just the same as it was, at least in broad strokes. Iris was speaking but Berni was completely tuned out trying to figure out what small details may be present just waiting to explode and put the world in peril. That's the way Flashpoints work: When you arrive, you may not notice many differences, it may even lull you into thinking its a better world than the one you left behind, but something is always bubbling under the surface waiting to boil over and take everything with it. Barry had a theory that it was time's way of punishing you for tampering with the natural order, giving you what you look for then snatching it away in a way a million times worse than it had been the first time.


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It had been a long time since Berni had seen her Father, before he was a casualty in the apocalypse that befell the old timeline. Visitation procedure seemed still the same, the guards seemed more involved in escorting Berni than they had Barry, she hoped it was because she was a young woman and not after looking at hardened convicts all day, a pretty young woman would seem like an ice cold glass of water in the middle of a heatwave. She then had wince at the fact she was even referring to herself as a pretty young woman internally now. She straightened her back up and tried to deepen her voice as if trying to compensate for the lost masculinity as the guard pulled out her chair for her and pushed it in after she sat down as if she weighed nothing.

Henry Allen was brought out, already in tears, mouthing the words "my little girl" over and over as tears started running down Berni's cheek as well. They picked up the phones on each side of the partition to hear each other as they both instinctively put their hands on the glass. "My little girl" he said again. Berni wanted to tell him to stop saying that, she was an adult, and she wasn't even supposed to be a girl. But the only sound she could make through the crying fit was a high-pitched squeal and a sincere

"Dad!" she sniffled.


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"I was so worried about you." He said. Berni hadn't considered that he probably last heard about her when she went into a coma. "I wanted to come and see you, I couldn't get out, E.O. fought for it but they didn't approve. I'm so sorry."

"It's OK, Dad. I wasn't, you know, awake to notice who visited." She attempted to joke and ended up making both of them cry harder. The two of them talked and caught up, Berni explained that she was taking some time before going back to college, when asked what was new with Henry he shrugged and said they replaced the nets on the basketball hoops in the yard. It felt like mere moments but before either knew it, the 30 minute visitation was up. Berni promised to come back every week, Henry nodded. As they were leaving, a guard asked her to speak for a moment, a bit apprehensive, she followed him into a break room near the main hall.

"Hey, uh. I know this is none of my business. But is that E.O. guy like your Husband or something?"

"Foster Dad." She said with disgust at his inquiry.

"Ok. Ok. Whenever he's in here he tells Henry he's gonna do all kinds of stuff but he never asks. I don't know what he's doing, but I was here the day he told Henry that he was going to get him out of here to see you at the hospital. He walked straight out the door after that conversation."

"I see. Thank you." Thawne still being Thawne. Berni turned to leave but the guard cleared his throat.

"Ahem. So, does that mean you DON'T have a husband?"

"Come on, dude." A little Barry slipped out of Berni's mouth.

"You're right. Sorry."

Back in Iris's car, she cleaned her face up and practiced reapplying her make-up in the mirror. Iris waited to start moving until she was done.

"Hey, Iris." Berni said, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah, baby?" She asked, keeping her eye on the road as she pulled out of the penitentiary parking lot. Her eyes quickly darted to Berni with a look of sympathy and love that was only on her face for a second. Berni's ability to alter her perception of time was coming back little by little, but it wasn't something she could control yet.

"Do you think you could drop me off at the library?"

"Yeah, sure. Do you need anything?"

"I just miss it. I'll be going back to school in a few months, I'd like to do some research, figure out what I might want to do." That was a lie. She wanted to look up what happened to the rest of the superheroes without worrying about Thawne tracking the search history on her phone. She entered the library and found her library card tucked right behind her ID, just like Barry's. She settled in at the computer while Iris ran some errands and she quickly got to searching for the other superheroes. Barry liked to consider himself an expert on other heroes, keeping mental scrapbooks of their powers, identities, origins. All things he picked up through regular, friendly conversation and the instincts of a professional investigator. It was time to put that information to use.


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No news about Green Lantern missing, but Hal was often off-planet and didn't have much about him that wast traceable. No apartment. No car. No job. It's like he vanished off the face of the Earth as soon as he got that ring. To be fair, aside from a few visits, that literally is what happened.

Superman was missing, he went after a mysterious craft that started to orbit Earth, but the craft disappeared and Superman along with it. Berni went to a different computer, ran a VPN, and looked up Clark Kent to avoid anyone connecting the dots. The official story was that he was on assignment overseas, his socials are still being updated, but its often about movies, video games, or general topics such as coffee. The profiles read like they were written by Jimmy Olsen trying to cover for Big Blue.

Searching for Gotham brings up multiple articles about a crime wave. The usual suspects, Harley & Ivy, Black Mask trying to make moves to take over for the millionth time, Clayface having escaped Arkham again, multiple sightings of Nightwing but none of Batman. Bruce Wayne was reclusive and unpredictable, so she didn't bother looking that up, no way he didn't have contingencies on contingencies to cover for him in an absence and engaging them would only slow her down.

No results for Aquaman, he must not have debuted publicly yet. A search for Arthur Curry turned up a result that listed him among the casualties in a flash flood that struck a small harbor town called Tempest Keys. Further searching show that there were conspiracy theories about the events that night, some claim they saw aquatic soldiers emerging from the waves to destroy property and snatch people off of the streets. Definitely sounds like Arthur's royal Atlantean family were involved somehow.

Wonder Woman was the one she had the least faith in, Diana grew up on Themyscira, an island of beautiful Amazon women who had no contact with the outside world. Berni was confident she remembered the location and could perhaps investigate when she regaintedt he ability to run on water, but right now, even the slightest difference in history would stop Steve Trevor from crash landing there in WWI and convincing Diana to return with him, introducing the world to Wonder Woman. Had Steve not crash-landed there and survived, it's possible that she never would have left that island. Berni couldn't help but smile and do a happy dance in her chair when the term "Wonder Woman" offered millions upon millions of results.

But this wasn't Wonder Woman. At least not the one she knew, she was blonde and had a completely different face. She still had the warrior's spirit and the look of noble wisdom, but that face wasn't Diana's. Berni considered that it's possible Hippolyta just decided she preferred the Daughter she made of clay look like this Wonder Woman and not the one she was used to. But what if this was part of the Flashpoint boiling over, what if she was a villain parading around as Wonder Woman in an attempt to gain Berni's trust?


No, assuming everyone is out to destroy the world isn't what Wonder Woman would do. It isn't what Superman would do. It isn't what The Flash would do. Her path would cross with this Wonder Woman's soon, but she had to focus on getting her powers back for that to happen. She logged out, headed for the exit, and sat outside, breathing in the fresh air and attempting to slow her perception while focusing on passing cars until Iris arrived. It worked off-and-on and was difficult to control, but Berni is hopeful that she'll be able to get back in her suit soon enough, especially since she knows all of the tips and tricks that come with a connection to the Speed Force already.


A sudden realization hit Berni before Iris pulled up to take her home, she ran back inside and logged back into the library computer to fill all of her gaps in knowledge on feminine hygiene, pretending not to notice the librarian that was looking over her shoulder. She then looked up a few pointers in cosmetics and hair care, Berni always considered herself a more technical learner than one that gathers skills by watching, though once she had her full powerset back those two were more-or-less one in the same.